Tag: psilocybin

Posted on

The Trip

So the big journey took place on Friday. I journaled before and really tried to set and clarify my intentions. Something that I questioned is what should I focus on? Is it photography or something else? I also wrote and said that I have fear, but I don’t know about what… I talked to Stacey, our facilitator, about how in my recent journeys with psychedelics I have felt fear/anxiety going into my trips. Fear of going to dark places. Nothing has been revealed when I’ve been in the ‘darkness’, mostly just feeling unease.

Mushrooms being measured in to individual doses by Troy and Jamie…

At 6.34pm I ate 5,5 grams of dried mushrooms and drank mushroom tea that was about 2 grams. Stacey suggested 7 gr when we talked, but my fear kicked in and we agreed on 5 gr. When I realized that I would be taking 7 gr after all, I decided to go with it. I felt pretty calm. In my mind I was saying I wanted it to be a good trip. Beautiful visuals and just feeling good. 

It kicked in really fast for me (it always does) and I laid down and closed my eyes. The first thought I remember coming to me when I felt the effect was – promise yourself to never do psychedelics ever again, but then I started to have beautiful visuals and I was like, oh yes, this is going to be a great trip! Why would I not want to trip ever again in my life? I had 2 miniature guys that kept talking to me and I started asking them questions on what I should focus on. Is it photography? Will something else come up? They kind of just laughed and said that I can do whatever I want. I think we were in Vegas. Then I saw and visited a very light place, like a cave that felt like peace. 

Then it was like the mushrooms decided that hey, let’s stop bullshitting around and deal with the real issue – your fear. I have always said “mushrooms don’t give you what you want, they give you what you need…” But I never experienced that, until now! I don’t exactly remember what I saw visually, I think it was mostly feeling fear, anxiousness and it being dark. I started to move and tried to get comfortable in my body. At one point I came to and my face was covered in tears without me realizing I’ve been crying. I think the mushrooms let me take a breather and then took me back in. At one point I came to and I was covered in sweat. I thought about calling for Stacey or Jamie to check on me. But I decided to just keep laying down and went back in.

At one point I was going in circles in my mind. I came back to the first thought, made conclusions and then I was back again. It was scary and I remember thinking I might never come out of this. Is this forever? I know from previous journeys that there are no other options than surrendering and pushing through. They played very calm music, and at times the music was quiet, making time stretch, and there were just my thoughts. I kept thinking, please put the music back on. I knew it was just a short break between songs, but it felt like the quietness lasted forever. Very hard to handle. I tried to guess how much time had passed and had to accept that I still probably had a lot of time left.

I think I finally started to come back and Stacey had in her notes that it was around 10.30pm. I needed to go to the bathroom and I was walked to one by Jamie. The floor was morphing so much. Going to the bathroom took me out of it a bit and I decided to put my headphones on and listen to my own music. I got up and started to move and dance a little. I remember thinking I was so fucking happy I was out of it and alive! I had a feeling that I went through hell and made it through. Felt relief and a feeling that I can make it through anything! Cyril was the only one left out on the chairs. I then started to dance more and then rocked out. I sat down at times and thought about my mom. First I wanted to brush it off, but decided to really take that in, sit with it and concentrate on my mom. The pain and hardships she went through. I realized I caused her a lot of worry. I cried. 

In the end I sat by the pool just thinking about my experience and what I went through… All of a sudden I noticed this little bug crawling around me. Then there was more and it felt like they were all coming towards me. Not scary, just feeling that maybe I was connected to everything. 

I think I went into my room around 12.30 am. Then Cyril came knocking and we went sitting outside and we talked about our experiences. He went through a big trip as well. 

At 2 am I decided it was time for bed. I saw a lot of creatures when I closed my eyes, but I fell asleep fast and slept the whole night through… 

So what do I feel now? I am more present and feel that I don’t need to know exactly where I’m headed or what’s next for me. It will be revealed if I have patience and stay open. I had a knot in my stomach before and Mama Orah said that our feelings a lot of times express themselves in our stomachs. I don’t have that anymore. I don’t feel fear or anxiety anymore. I will definitely keep doing psychedelics and appreciate the trip I went through even though it was a hard one. I think I have one more big trip ahead of me that is about forgiving someone. But who knows, maybe the mushrooms will take me elsewhere… 

Also made a decision when returning home to move. I’m moving to Utah. I’ll save that for the next post, but I’m very excited about it!!!

Hope your weekend has been superb!

XXX Puma

Posted on

Mycelia Psilocybin Retreat

Last week on Wednesday I took an Uber at 02.00 am to the airport. Tried to sneak out without waking Hunter up, but no luck with that. When I grabbed my bags and was ready to head downstairs, he came out stretching and yawning and walked me to the door.

Sooo tired and happy when it was about time to finally board the plane. I find out that the flight to Houston is being cancelled because the plane is broken. Or I guess in less dramatic terms, has technical issues.  Ugh!

There are not many options for flying from Mexico to Jamaica. They tried to find options, but all of them meant staying somewhere overnight and continuing tomorrow. I finally got the brilliant idea to look for a flight to Kingston in Jamaica instead. It wasn’t guaranteed I’d get on it though because it was overbooked. I thought some good thoughts, crossed some fingers, and at 08.40 am I flew to Atlanta instead. Pretty much passed out as soon as I sat down on the plane.

In Atlanta the pIane was overbooked and they started offering money to people to fly the next day instead. Luckily enough people took the offer and at 5.59 pm we took off to Jamaica finally! I think the Atlanta airport had very interesting artwork. Or is just me that has a dirty mind?

Got to the villa around 22.30 and met everyone. Chuck who I met last year from the US. So great seeing him again! Cyril from Sweden. More about him later. Dev from Australia, Alex who is Armenian, Derryck from USA (but grew up in South Africa and lived in Russia among other places) and Rob from South Africa but came from Cayman Islands the next day.

Thursday

Slept good and woke up at 7.30am. I always get excited if I have a pool or access to a beach and feel the need to get in instantly. Afterwards I had coffee and mingling while having a light breakfast. 

Around 11am Mama Orah came over to give us a yoga session. If you read my blog last year you already know I love Mama Orah. I believe she’s past 70 years old and she just radiates compassion and you want to hug her which I obviously did 🙂 While the rest of us are in the shade yoga-ing she’s in the sun like it’s nothing! I’m guessing it was about 31 Celsius! 

After that it was time for lunch and Marcel was the chef this time too. He cooks the best food and is a sweetheart! 

What I like about this retreat is that there’s no stress. You have time to relax on your own or with the group. I love meeting new people, and we were a great group with a lot of interesting stories and experiences on why we all came here. Cyril is a writer/journalist from Sweden who I had only been in contact with on Instagram a couple of times. About a month ago he posted about psilocybin on his feed. I sent him a DM that I had micro-dosed and asked him if he didn’t want to come to Jamaica on a retreat with me. Cyril had been traveling for work and rerouted his return by Jamaica so here we were meeting for the first time. 

Around 4pm we were on a private beach for our 1st mushroom dose. A lighter dose and I took 2 grams in a gummy and 1 gram of chocolate.

We all were swimming and a rainbow appears. So cool. I didn’t expect to feel as much as I did, but I had a lot of visuals. The clouds were in 3D layers and I saw geometrical patterns when I closed my eyes. Felt a bit restless and lied down on a towel on my own and let go… When I felt that I was coming out of it I started listening to my music and dancing. Damn, I love dancing when ending my trip. It’s like I release all of the built up and leftover energy. I feel so free and great after… We also had a beautiful sunset on the beach before packing up and headed back to the villa. 

Marcel had cooked us dinner and we sat talking about how our trips had been. Cyril and I sat up until midnight because he just has the craziest stories to tell about people he interviewed, wild parties, and wars in Syria and Ukraine he’d reported from. 

Friday

The day started with coffee, chilling in the pool, breakfast and then another yoga session with Mama Orah.

After lunch we had individual sessions with Stacey who was our facilitator. She is from Jamaica and very calm and wise. We talked about my intention for the upcoming journey and how much mushrooms I was going to take. There will be a longer and separate post about this because this was probably my most powerful trip ever in so many ways. I finally understand the meaning of “The mushrooms give you what you need, not what you want” and it was so true for me on this trip. This is us getting to ready to take off…

The night ended with Cyril and I sitting up talking about our experiences until 2am. I felt elated and drained after and still had some visions when I went to bed and closed my eyes…

Saturday

One of my favorite things form last year is when we all shared about our trips. This morning was no different. Everyone was curious about each others journeys. Seemed like everyone had a powerful one. Stacey was also around to answer questions and listen to us sharing…

At 4pm it was time to head to another beach for our last dose. I only took 2 grams and felt it in my body, but didn’t really have any visuals. It also started raining so we had to take shelter and it’s different when you are interacting with other people versus just lying down and letting go. I also believe the mushrooms felt I’d received what I needed the night before so now it was mostly relaxing. Witnessed a beautiful sunset before heading back to the villa to chill…

On Sunday we packed up and checked in and Sand & Tan where I stayed last year too after the retreat. It’s a simple hotel right on the beach and it felt good to reflect on the past few days.

My favorite was to just walk out from my balcony and go swim first thing in the morning. There was barely any other people there so we were just journaling, talking, eating and hanging out. I went paddle boarding every day and just laid on the board. Was even able to get one sunset on the water on the board. 

Lunch with gang. Anyone else think this sign is funny?

Dinner at the hotel…

Pulled myself together and worked a little. Can’t really say it feels like work when you’re on the beach in yet another beautiful sunset 🙂

Met this artist at the hotel and he painted this mural. I suspect he even might of planted this weed plant next to it 🙂

On the last night the last stragglers visited a strip club. I love visiting strip clubs in different countries. We had a couple of drinks and watched some great pole tricks before leaving and crashing in bed. 

My flight was not until 2.30pm on Wednesday so I had time to swim and have breakfast with Troy and John who runs the retreat and Cyril.

The guy who runs Sand & Tan buys fresh caught fish every day from the fishermen…

Had to stop for some great jerk chicken on the way to the airport too…

Made it home and I feel much more relaxed. Something I’ve taken home is to feel more present. Be in the moment. I sometimes do 5 things at the same time, but I think I’m a bit more focused now and able to concentrate on only 1 (or 2) things at the time. 

Hunter was very happy about me coming home and talked a lot before he slept glued to my side the whole night 🙂 

I think I will have some other exciting news to share in the next few days 🙂 Just finalizing details now wohooo 🙂

The next retreat in Mycelia is June 23 – June 27 and there are a couple of spots left. If you’ve ever been thinking of going to a retreat, I can’t recommend Mycelia enough! Here is how our itinerary looked for the days we were there.

Hope you all will have a great weekend! Got plans? I’m going to polish my notes about the big trip experience and hopefully post it tomorrow. Hopefully getting together with Dayana today before she leaves for her summer travels. Tomorrow I’m helping Astrid with some computer stuff, but will read and relax too 🙂

Laters, Puma

Posted on

Redesign, Old Friends, LSD…

The blog is looking weird because I’m trying to redesign it. I don’t really have patience for it, so I give it like 10 minutes here and there and not making much progress… But I’ll get there eventually!

Went to Chapultepec park last Sunday for some fresh air. Mostly I was sweating and the whole park is more yellow/brownish than green now because it feels hotter than a Finnish sauna here! Even the dogs had shoes on to protect their paws. Not sure what the goggles were for though…

In the afternoon I finally got to meet Milla’s cat. She claims he’s soooo cute. I’m not totally convinced. He’s no Hunter, but he was playful and fun so that compensates for him being hairless 😉

I had the studio at the school booked and made Ximena patiently model for me while I was trying out different lighting options, settings, patterns, positions etc. So much to figure out and I was totally exhausted after! Here’s a couple of samples…

I got a text from a girl, Sarah, that I met at a wedding in St Barths 10 years ago that she is in Mexico now. I remember her being funny and us getting along so we decided to meet up. At the wedding pre-party I ‘accidentally’ asked the bride’s mom if she liked anal sex (we were all joking around and she was goading me to ask her something shocking) and that almost resulted in me getting kicked out of the wedding. I wrote about it before at another blog I had, anyone here remember the story? Anyways, at the time, Sarah just laughed about it and we actually ended up leaving the wedding and going to a club. So much to catch up over dinner…

Since Sarah is a fitness coach and in great shape we also hit the gym. Great workout and I’m still sore…

We also hit some stores and smoothies…

I always see videos of people’s cats squeezing themself into boxes. Hunter has never been interested until now. I guess this box just fit him perfectly and now he likes to nap in it at times 🙂

Edited this set from the love hotel in Japan, the second set is some of this weeks smuttiness and then me trying to catch a ride on the street 🙂

I have a friend here that is very knowledgeable about all of the many psychedelics. He is regularly invited to ceremonies abroad with tribes of indigenous people. He facilitated a Changa ceremony for me and a friend last year which was amazing. I get all my psychedelics from him. Yesterday I went back and got 2 different LSD microdoses. Popped one right away and felt great rest of the night 🙂

I think this upcoming week will be great. I met a fetish/dom model here last week and she is supercool and this Wednesday we will shoot together 🙂

Meeting a photographer this week that I have asked to shadow/assist to learn more about photography and lighting.

Have more friends coming to town, a birthday party, and hopefully deciding about a moving too 🙂 Utah is the spot now!

OK, going to try design this blog a bit now and maybe next week it will look a bit better 🙂 Or not… My food intake has been pretty healthy this week, but then this Cheesecake happened hahahaaa…

Go be amazing or tell someone else they’re amazing!

XXX Puma

Posted on

Mycelia retreat in Jamaica

If you’ve been following my adventures for a while, you’ll remember I visited Jamaica and the Mycelia mushroom retreat last May. It was one of the highlights of last year’s experiences for me. I’m now thrilled to extend the invitation for you to join me on my next journey at Mycelia.

I’m currently in talks with the Mycelia team to organize a special retreat tailored for my friends, readers, and followers. Whether you’re a curious first-timer or a bit of a psychonaut like me, Mycelia offers a unique setting to work on yourself.

Dates: May 22nd – 26th

How much? USD $3495 (excluding extra beach hotel days).

Before attending, there will be a call to make sure this experience is a good fit for you. Also a call with the facilitator before attendance.


I fell in love with Jamaica and the Mycelia Retreat and it was an unforgettable experience. The team, led by knowledgeable guides, created a fun and relaxing atmosphere. From Marcel’s home cooked daily meals to Mama Orah’s soothing yoga sessions, while Troy’s kept a watchful eye on us all 🙂 For me the whole trip was perfect.

Mycelia is located close to Ocho Rios in a beautiful villa nestled in the hills overlooking the Caribbean Sea.  It has an amazing 9 ft deep salt water pool and a hot tub where you can relax and work on your tan 🙂


It’s a 4-day retreat, including 3 days of medicine, the psilocybin doses are tailored to each individual.  We start with a smaller dose on the beach and the dosages increase in later sessions.  When the retreat ends we have an option to stay at the waterfront beachfront hotel and I recommend a couple of extra days post-retreat to process your experience.   

Many of us did last time which I really enjoyed because it gave us time to talk about our journeys, paddle board, and just hang out.    

Here are links to 2 of my posts from Mycelia last year if you want to get a feeling and read about my experiences there.

Jamaica
Ja Mon…

I recommend you check out Mycelia’s website where there’s more info. This is the website for Mycelia Retreat – https://www.myceliajm.com/

Mycelia was featured on Al Jazeera’s Mindset docuseries last week and you can watch it on their website or here’s the link to see it on YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_DZwKOG1xA

I’m so excited as this will be my 1 year anniversary at Mycelia, and I hope you can join me 🙂 Feel free to reach out to me or Mycelia if you have any questions.

Who’s in?

XXX Puma

Posted on

Microdosing

I’m off to Oaxaca tomorrow so I thought that I’d caffeinate myself and get this post up today instead.

I told you I’d write about my microdose experiences, and this is a bit of a journal of the mental expedition my mind did the last few times I microdosed. 

10 seeds from the flower Ipomoea Corymbosa

What would make my life perfect? Or like what is a perfect life for me. How happy am I? Where and how would I live? What would I be doing with my time? What do I enjoy doing the most now? I have been pondering on these questions since then and my conclusion (for the moment) is at the end.   

When microdosing or tripping on a larger dose, my thoughts usually involve nature and how much I love being outdoors. Either in the woods or having access to a lake/ocean. I usually think that is something I need to prioritize in my life. I start thinking that I should live in the woods or on the beach. When I then start thinking on how to make it happen, it turns out that a Tarzan-like lifestyle sounds amazing, but I realize pretty quickly that I’d get bored. I obviously go to the extremes in my plans to live completely remote, self sustained etc… So where’s the middle ground in all of this?

I think about how I use my time. Sometimes I fantasize that I shouldn’t have any ‘musts’ in my life. I can just wake up and be free to do whatever I want without thinking about earning or needing money. My thoughts go to painting, photography, and reading… I realized that I do enjoy being in front of the camera and creating content though. If I did all of my hobbies, just for fun, I think I would feel unfulfilled. I need some ‘musts’ in my life to be able to enjoy doing the things that are more of a hobby. 

My mind can bounce to shallow things like my looks. One minute I’m all self-loving and accept myself just as I am. But I don’t accept myself thaaaat much, that I would give up on Botox. Other times I feel that I need to do all I can to look my best and consider eyelid surgery and if it’s too late for me to get butt implants hahhaaaa…

I consider how important social media is in my life. I think I’d feel more liberated if I didn’t feel the need to take pics or have to post as much. 

Things… Sometimes I imagine a life with only the necessary things that I really need. But in reality I’m a bit of a hoarder. I love things. Tacky and kitsch, shiny and bright, weird and of no use at all…

Money… How much money is enough? Is my happiness tied to money? Sometimes I feel like a minimalist and that I’m good as is. Other times I fantasize about having millions. Or even billions and plot plans how to achieve that.. 

For now I have come up with something that I think would be the perfect life with maxed out happiness. I would buy a farm of some kind. I would rescue animals and invite people who needed relaxation, presence of animals, and nature to come and visit. The place would also function as a psychedelic retreat for cosmic astronauts 🙂

Psilocybin

Sooo, who else is a cosmic astronaut here?

Very excited to go to Oaxaca tomorrow. Heard so much about it. In Spanish August is Agosto, but because the mushrooms grow now they call it Hongosto. My hope is to go and pick shrooms while I’m there 🙂 I just need a guide to tell which ones I can actually consume 🙂

XXX Puma

Posted on

Ja Mon…

OK, I’m going to attempt to talk about my week in Jamaica. A short summary would be – amazing, magical, fun, and when can I go back? 

But here’s the longer version in case someone else is interested in trying a psilocybin retreat.

Before going I filled out an intake form. Questions like: ‘Are you on any medication? Any trauma in my life? Expectations?’ Etc… I personally haven’t experienced any big trauma in my life. I always trust the medicine (in this case psilocybin) to take my awareness to where it needs to go… I had a Zoom call with the facilitator Evelyn, where I could ask questions and talk about any concerns I might have. 

On Friday the 26th it was finally time to fly to Jamaica. Uber picked me up at 3am. Flight to Miami and then connecting to Montego Bay landing around 1.30pm. Long line in customs. I got picked up by Troy who runs Mycelia Retreat and Chuck, another guy participating.

We stopped and ate some jerk pork on the way. Soo tasty!

It was about a 2 hour ride from the airport to Osho Rios. We checked in at Sago Palm. We then went to the hotel Sand & Tan, what they called the ‘Sister Retreat’. Justin, another participant, joined us there. We watched the sunset and had dinner before going back and catching some sleep.

Saturday 27th

Had breakfast on my own at the hotel. Since the rest of the participants were arriving later, I walked to the beach after breakfast. On the way there I was offered free lunch, getting my hair braided, and weed hahahaa… People were really friendly and a lady I talked to walked me to the beach. For $10 you got a beach chair and umbrella… A guy on the beach offered fishing tours and snorkeling on his boat and when I kindly declined, -”But how about some weed”. I learned that everyone’s last offer was always weed LOL…

At 1.30 we got picked up at the hotel and went to the main villa where you stay during the retreat. Wow, what a place….

A massage was included and Keela massaged so well I fell asleep.

By the time I woke up, the four other participants had arrived. Seemed like very nice people. Troy picked us up Indian food for dinner and everyone sat talking and getting to know each other. Slept like a baby in my big room 🙂

Sunday 28th. 

Coffee was at 8am. At 9am, Marcel, our fabulous chef, served fresh fruit and a porridge made of ground plantain and peanuts with local honey. At 10am we were introduced to Mama Orah, our yoga teacher. I had expected a strenuous class, but it was the best yoga in my life. I think she said her practice was more African style. Very relaxed, slow movements, breathing while she shared a lot of wisdom. We were all blown away after. The last picture of Mama Orah just captures how cool and fun she is!

Marcel served us a delicious lunch after and we had some free time. Other people got their massages and most of us lounged by the pool. 

Around 1.30 there was a group meeting with Evelyn, our facilitator. Some people didn’t have much experience with psilocybin so questions and concerns were answered. I never did psychedelics in a group setting and was curious how other people’s energies and experiences on shrooms were going to affect my trip. 

Around 3pm we were driven to the nearby beach, Sugar Pot. Not a lot of people there and we picked a spot under some trees. We were given 2 gummies that had about 1,5gr of psilocybin in total. This was an introductory dose so that everyone was eased into it. 

Everyone eventually wanted to be on the beach so we moved the chairs there. We were swimming, listening to music, talking and laughing. It was very relaxed and I felt the group coming together more and more.

Very light trip and I only had light visuals when closing my eyes. I think it was a great idea to start with a lighter trip to see how everyone was handling it and bonding people together. We left after about 4 hours and were cracking up with laughter in the car riding back. At the villa Marcel had cooked us a delicious dinner with jerk chicken, bone in chicken, vegetables and rice with beans. Then everyone sat around talking about their observations while tripping. Such a great and fun day!

Monday 29th

I was having coffee around 8 and people dropped in after they woke up. At 10am we had another great yoga session with Mama Orah. Slow moving, breathing and feeling your body. Mama Orah told us she would be joining us at the jungle ceremony too wohooo… We all loved her presence! After lunch we settled for another group talk. Evelyn told us what was planned for the jungle ceremony. We talked about our intentions for the ceremony. I shared that I want to give myself acceptance. I don’t have to be busy or creating something for my time to be considered valuable. I’m not wasting my life or time by reading, napping, or doing something that is not work. 

It was very interesting to hear people share. We were also introduced to Jordan who is a psychedelic guide. He also has been cross breeding strains to create what he believes is a great mushroom strain to take in the jungle setting. The sweetest and most humble guy. His family owns the property in the jungle where we were going.

I watched the mushrooms being prepared for tea.

I packed a bag with bug spray, head lamp, a sweater, pants and a scarf, and around 3pm we were all packed up and ready to head out. About an hour ride into the jungle and in the end it was just 2 tracks for the car tires. We parked and were given 3 mushroom chocolates that were about 2gr of psilocybin in total. It was about a 20min walk down to ‘our’ spot.

I’ve heard how amazing it was supposed to be down there, but I was blown away. First we went to a place by the river where we could get into the water. It was crystal clear and cold.

I was already feeling the mushrooms and felt so at peace in the surrounding nature. Hearing birds and crickets. Then we moved out to another spot they had set up with lounge chairs. We were in a circle and we got served the mushroom tea. Everyone passing a cup to the next person after giving it a blessing or whatever you felt like passing on in silence. The jungle became 3D for me. I was feeling so good. I tend to get very relaxed and prefer to lay down. I asked for a yoga mat and laid down. I put my scarf over me and cocooned up. I had such beautiful visuals. Not seeing them, but being part of them. Sometimes I was brought back by hearing the group around me. Mama Orah sometimes played a drum or sound bowls. Then it was all dark and and the fireflies came out and surrounded us. I thought they would be small flies lit up, but they looked more like birds on fire. It was so beautiful watching them. I wish I could’ve filmed it, but I wanted to stay in the moment. I remembered thinking that I never want to leave this spot…

After the effect of the mushrooms subsided, we moved up under the ‘dome’ made up from bamboo trees and watched the fire. I felt so happy. People were talking and processing their experience. It started to rain and Troy handed out umbrellas.

I think we were down there for about 5h before heading back to the villa. Marcel had prepared us soup and one by one we dropped back into our rooms. I felt drained and fell asleep without even a shower…

Tuesday 29th

Everyone talked about their journeys in the jungle during breakfast. Mama Orah came and gave us our last yoga class. I consider her to be one of the best things I experienced here. At the end of class we all just laid down and Mama Orah covered us with blankets. It was pouring rain and we all just took it in. 

This being the 3rd day, it was optional if you wanted to have another journey. In the morning I felt that I probably wasn’t going to because the jungle ceremony had been so great. But then I decided I wanted to. I drank a cup of mushroom tea around 7pm. I felt it kick  in so fast and chose a secluded spot by the pool on my own. Again I had such beautiful visuals and I was listening to music in my ear buds. At one point I tried to join people by the table, but my body and head told me I wasn’t done. I laid down again and let go… Lot of thoughts of my family, friends and people in my life that I care about and love. When I emerged from my trip, I saw that I was alone. I felt like everyone had abandoned me at first.. But then I realized that everything was good. I put my earbuds in again and started moving slowly to the music. First came tears. Not feeling sad, but it felt like I was releasing something from my body. I then put on disco music and started really dancing. I felt like I had so much energy. I danced until I was soaked in sweat. I probably went at it for an hour.

Then I sat down and just felt at peace… another guest named John came out for snacks and we sat talking for a bit before going to bed. My favorite part of this trip was the dancing at the end…  

Wednesday 30th

The retreat was officially over, but most of us had decided to stay a couple of more days. We checked in at Sand & Tan and I’m so happy I got to spend more time with the group.

A diverse group of people with different backgrounds, life experiences, and reasons why they had come here, but we all bonded together. We were lounging by the water,swimming,eating and paddleboarding.

We had dinner with Troy, Evelyn, and John at night on the dock. Talking about all the cool stuff we will remember. There was even talk about a reunion and I really hope that would happen since I would totally go back!

On Thursday John and I went floating down a river. Pretty relaxing except for when our ‘guide’ decided to sing very loud hahahaa…

Of course there was someone selling weed in the middle of it all too.

Also had time to hit the market in Osho Rios.

I styled up in Jamaican colors that night with my new outfit 🙂

And look at this superb cup I got from Roby, one of the participants. I think I had mentioned something about ‘size matters’ and possibly #tittytuesday hahahaaa…

Had time to catch a last breakfast with the group before a driver took me to the airport. Flights were smooth and landed back in Mexico around 8pm. 

It truly was one of the best experiences ever! The location, people, jungle, the trips… I wouldn’t change a thing and I believe I will go back. Reunion or not 🙂 And if any of you are looking for a retreat, I highly recommend Mycelia Retreat! <—– If curios, click the link and register and you can win a 4-day retreat 🙂 Here are some more pics…

And the best thing about coming home? Cuddles with Hunter 🙂

Remember, one love!

XXX Puma

Posted on

Shot a bunch…

this week. First time shooting with Fernando and we had so much fun. Here are some behind the scenes pics…

Then the weekly smut got produced…

Shot this amazing set (if I may say so myself) from Psychonaut Explorer and these patched-up jeans…

I went to the gym too, just forgot to take any pics. So busy trying to get those gains 😉

I went to a foot doctor, or whatever they are called, because I have some pain in a joint by the big toe. I don’t even know how to explain what’s going on there, just that he told me to go get custom made soles for my shoes. The soles are going to take the pressure off in the area that’s hurting. Got measured and they made prints of my big-ass feet.

Then I had a couple of phone calls with a psilocybin retreat in Jamaica. I’m going there in the end of May for about a week. I’m so excited as it’s my first time to Jamaica too. Can’t wait to share the experience. And this upcoming week I have a zoom meeting with some people about visiting more retreats. Fingers crossed. I hope that in the future I can host a retreat myself as I love and believe in the power of psychedelics and nature’s medicine 🙂 Any of you guys ever been to something similar?

Here in Mexico City you always run into cute dogs… And pigs 🙂 The pig apparently looks for chewing gum that she loves the owner told me. Sounds yummy 😉

But the cutest of them all is Hunter of course. In the last pic he’s sitting in the shower waiting for me to finish brushing my teeth so we can go to bed 🙂

I guess tomorrow is a holiday almost everywhere. Glad Valborg to Sweden and Hyvää Vappua to Finland. I don’t know what the holidays is called anywhere else. Something Feliz here in Mexico is my guess 🙂 Take care and catch you next Sunday!

XXX Puma

Proudly powered by WordPress