I’m off to Oaxaca tomorrow so I thought that I’d caffeinate myself and get this post up today instead.
I told you I’d write about my microdose experiences, and this is a bit of a journal of the mental expedition my mind did the last few times I microdosed.
What would make my life perfect? Or like what is a perfect life for me. How happy am I? Where and how would I live? What would I be doing with my time? What do I enjoy doing the most now? I have been pondering on these questions since then and my conclusion (for the moment) is at the end.
When microdosing or tripping on a larger dose, my thoughts usually involve nature and how much I love being outdoors. Either in the woods or having access to a lake/ocean. I usually think that is something I need to prioritize in my life. I start thinking that I should live in the woods or on the beach. When I then start thinking on how to make it happen, it turns out that a Tarzan-like lifestyle sounds amazing, but I realize pretty quickly that I’d get bored. I obviously go to the extremes in my plans to live completely remote, self sustained etc… So where’s the middle ground in all of this?
I think about how I use my time. Sometimes I fantasize that I shouldn’t have any ‘musts’ in my life. I can just wake up and be free to do whatever I want without thinking about earning or needing money. My thoughts go to painting, photography, and reading… I realized that I do enjoy being in front of the camera and creating content though. If I did all of my hobbies, just for fun, I think I would feel unfulfilled. I need some ‘musts’ in my life to be able to enjoy doing the things that are more of a hobby.
My mind can bounce to shallow things like my looks. One minute I’m all self-loving and accept myself just as I am. But I don’t accept myself thaaaat much, that I would give up on Botox. Other times I feel that I need to do all I can to look my best and consider eyelid surgery and if it’s too late for me to get butt implants hahhaaaa…
I consider how important social media is in my life. I think I’d feel more liberated if I didn’t feel the need to take pics or have to post as much.
Things… Sometimes I imagine a life with only the necessary things that I really need. But in reality I’m a bit of a hoarder. I love things. Tacky and kitsch, shiny and bright, weird and of no use at all…
Money… How much money is enough? Is my happiness tied to money? Sometimes I feel like a minimalist and that I’m good as is. Other times I fantasize about having millions. Or even billions and plot plans how to achieve that..
For now I have come up with something that I think would be the perfect life with maxed out happiness. I would buy a farm of some kind. I would rescue animals and invite people who needed relaxation, presence of animals, and nature to come and visit. The place would also function as a psychedelic retreat for cosmic astronauts 🙂
Sooo, who else is a cosmic astronaut here?
Very excited to go to Oaxaca tomorrow. Heard so much about it. In Spanish August is Agosto, but because the mushrooms grow now they call it Hongosto. My hope is to go and pick shrooms while I’m there 🙂 I just need a guide to tell which ones I can actually consume 🙂
XXX Puma
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