Tag: San Pedro

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Corason Retreat Part 2

Here comes the second part. In case it wasn’t obvious by the headline lol.

On our 3rd day it was time for San Pedro. Here is Lupita who made us a tasty juice for breakfast 🙂

We had another exercise and we talked about human needs. We arranged them by how they are at the present moment, and how we would like to reorder them. There was a lot more that went into this, but hard to explain it unless I write an essay and I suck at that 😉

I’d never tried San Pedro before which is a cactus. It was like a dark green, lumpy, warm smoothie. It did not taste good! We all had a lot of trouble getting it down; spooning it up from our cups while gagging.

I laid down to wait and see what San Pedro was going to bring along. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was alone in the room. I got up and joined everyone on the rooftop and listened to some good disco tunes.

None of us were really feeling anything from the medicine. We decided that we would have some more. It was really hard to get it down again, and I only managed to eat half of it.

We then started sharing about our families and upbringing. My personal story was about how my dad was very strict. I had the utmost respect for him, border lining on fear if I knew I’d done something wrong. There were a lot of emotions and tears. Bawling. Michael brought out wooden boards. He taught us a technique to punch through it. Not sure this was anything I could do. Seemed like some cool Kung Fu. I was told to share the old image/perception I had of my dad, and then what would be the new one. In short, I believe he really loved me and did his best. Even though he was a bit hardcore at the time hahhaaaa… I was told to punch through the wood. 

Damn, that was powerful and I felt a bit like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill when she punches herself out of the coffin! I did cut out my bawling before this though…

We then ate on the rooftop together and talked. The weirdest thing is that I then started feeling the San Pedro. Things were morphing a bit and I was tripping. It was great hanging out, and after a while we all felt that it was time for bed. I slept badly though, and was twisting and turning all night.

Sunday, our last day, and I was (and looked) pretty worn out hahahaa…

It was time to prep for Bufo. Bufo is a psychedelic derived from the secretions of the Bufo Alvaius toad. Photo by Joel Sartore, National Geographic. 

We gathered in our retreat room and were told that Bufo is what would bring clarity to all of the previous medicines. I was very excited about it as I felt I need some answers. 

A little side note here. We were told on the first day not to smoke anything whether it be cigarettes, vapes or cannabis. I refrained from smoking for two days, but then snuck out and had a couple of cigarettes. Also a couple on the rooftop the night before. Not very bueno of me, but I felt like I ‘deserved’ it… Here’s me thinking I got away with it 😉

Sooo, Miryana and Michael started preparing and serving the medicine.

They came to me last and sat down next to me. I was then told that I would not receive the medicine since I’ve been smoking. I felt disappointed and angry. I realized that I could only blame myself. So hard when you can’t point fingers at anyone else hahahaaa… All I could do was take this as a learning lesson, to honor my promises in the future! I asked everyone else how their experience was and it sounded pretty amazing. I’m sure there will come another time for me to try Bufo…

Afterwards we gathered on the rooftop and talked about these 4 days. It’s hard to take it all in and make sense of it so shortly after. It was an amazing group of people and new friends were made. 

Alex came up with our motto which I documented with and extra # in the end hahahaaa…

This is a very intense experience in a short period of time. I believe most (if not all) medicines numb you and take away what might be an uneasy feeling, like depression or anxiety for example. These medicines do the opposite, they make you feel! It might be hard, or not, but I’ve seen and felt them work on me and others.

I took the bus back home on Sunday afternoon.

Monday was pretty normal and on Tuesday I got a cold and was a bit lethargic. I felt a lot of different emotions, ups and downs, and I stayed home most of the day. I don’t know if it’s been because I was sick, but for the first time I’ve been able to just be at home and relax. I barely did anything last week. I stayed home, I started reading a book about mindfulness, and I have tried to meditate for small amounts of time every day. I watched a movie in the middle of the day, I slept a lot, and didn’t feel any pressure to work on something all the time. Normally I need to be working or I feel that I’m wasting my time. I feel better now and I will try to hold onto this new more chilled version of me 🙂 And of course Hunter is supporting me. He likes chill 🙂

If you have any questions about the retreat, hit me up 🙂

XXX Puma

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Corason Retreat Part 1

It’s been a lot to process as it was four very intense days with different medicines. I’ve decided to make two different posts as it became very looooooong and I’m still polishing the last part. Hopefully post it tomorrow 🙂

I took the bus from Mexico City to San Miguel de Allende. Very smooth ride about 4h away.

I wanted to have a relaxing day before the ceremonies and not arrive the day of. I stayed at Maison Mexique, a cute little hotel in the middle of everything. I threw my bag down and spent the day walking around the city.

In the evening I sat on the rooftop writing down some thoughts and intentions for the days to come.

Next morning I walked around a bit in the sun and had some fruit for breakfast.

We were notified that they would also be offering Kambo before the Ayahuasca ceremony the first day. I decided I wanted it, and drank 2 liters of water before leaving for the retreat. It was a short 10 minute Uber ride away. I’m always early, so I checked into my room at the house we were staying at, and then walked around checking out the hood 🙂

“Kambo is the name of a natural substance derived from the glandular secretions of the amphibian Phyllomedusa bicolor, a species native to regions in South America. The communities living in these areas administer the substance generally transdermally during rituals for religious-purifying purposes, producing small skin burns.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9061256/

The retreat was held by Miryana & Michael. More about them later 🙂 There were four of us who showed up to receive Kambo. The room had mattresses and buckets. I knew Kambo makes you purge and I remember thinking that I’ve never purged in a group setting. First time for everything…

We were told how it would be administered, the duration and what to expect. Miryana burned 3 holes on my ankle with the end of a burning stick. Didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but it still stinged. She rubbed the burnt skin off and applied the Kambo.

We were told to keep drinking water. I think it took around 15-20 minutes until I started to get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I let out a small purge. Michael kept encouraging us to drink more water. Kept drinking and then I purged out what felt like the rest of what I had in my stomach.

I thought beforehand that I would feel a lot worse, but it wasn’t too hard to handle and I felt good after purging. You are pretty focused on what you are going through, so I barely noticed the others purging. The Kambo is then wiped off the skin and it took about 1 hour in total. I felt pretty much back to normal afterwards.

In the afternoon two more people arrived. We all met up and talked about the upcoming Ayahuasca ceremony that was happening later at night. When it was time we first had an ‘exercise’ led by Michael. It was about setting your intentions. What is your perception about yourself right now and what would you like it to be. Before going at it, we danced together and then settled down and wrote whatever came to mind. Then more dancing and again settling down to write about the ‘new’ and improved you.

I like to draw and this is the new me going who knows where hahahaaa….

Then we all shared a word that summarized it all. My word was peace. I would like to live and be aware of the present more. Not to feel that I need to be effective all of the time. There was also a table set-up and you could leave an offering there…

At 8.15pm we were served Ayahuasca. (Ayahuasca is commonly made by the stems of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub). Photo by: Jana Klintoukh

I think about an hour after drinking the first cup, we all opted for a second serving. As usual when I’m doing larger doses of psychedelics, I remember thinking, ‘I don’t feel anything’, and then all of a sudden it hit me full-force. Wow, what a journey it took me on. There were times when I had to ask the medicine to take it a bit slow as it was so intense. At one point I think I experienced some kind of death. It all became white and my face was covered in tears when I came to again. I had a lot of visuals. I had visions of wolves howling and eating a carcass. I might of howled at one point too hahhaaaa… The feelings were mixed between fear, mostly because it was so intense, a lot of love for people I know, and in the between I just tried to surrender to everything and take it all in. Not very easy though lol…

Around 4am they told us we could go to our rooms or we could stay where we were. I did not hear this as I think I had fallen asleep. It was 6.30am when I was able to get up and go to bed exhausted. I’m still trying to make sense of my journey. I have a follow up call next week on Tuesday so maybe I can get more clarity then…

On the 2nd day we got together around 10 am to share about our different journeys. I’m always amazed how the experiences differ from one person to another. Some had people from their past ‘visit’ them and no visions of patterns. Very interesting to hear about the various trips.

We then talked about the mushroom ceremony, and it was going to be in silence with no music or drums. Around noon we were served the mushroom tea. Miryana said before that it was important to not compare this journey with other shroom journeys we might of had before. Well, my trip was nothing like any other I’ve had and there’s been a few. I felt the effect, but had no visuals like I always have. I walked up to the rooftop and put my headphones on and started dancing. Felt so good moving in the sun. After about 4 hours the effect of the mushrooms were wearing off, and we gathered downstairs again to share. I asked about my trip because I thought maybe I had become immune to shrooms. One suggestions was that I had asked for peace during Ayahuasca and maybe that was what I was experiencing. Hmm, makes sense to me…

We then had 1.5h to ourselves and I decided to emerge from our ‘container’ and go for a walk and clear my head a bit.

In the evening we gathered again for a breathing exercise. Mryana & Michael told us beforehand that it could get intense and to just let go and do whatever you felt you needed to do. Move, make sounds or whatever. I remember thinking – How powerful can a breathing exercise be? It was all very simple. Sit with your eyes closed and take deep breaths, inhale & exhale, with your mouth only. It varied with drums and then music. It started with everyone concentrating on their inhales and exhales. I don’t know at what point it happened, but soon we were making sounds. Pretty quietly at first. Then it got louder and louder. I remember pretty much letting it all out, crying loudly at one point. I had visuals appear. A giant flower with a tunnel leading into it. I remember thinking that this is like no other breathing exercise I ever done and it felt so good. Maybe I had some leftover shrooms and Aya that helped with the visions, I don’t know. It calmed down and we were told to take deep breaths and hold. Hold when we exhaled. The last holding of your breath was 2.5 min long. I didn’t quite manage that, but held my breath far longer than I thought I could… I really liked it. We then all gathered at the rooftop and hung out. It was a very cool group of people I was with, and it is always very interesting to hear everyone’s stories and why they’ve chosen these medicines.

OK, I’m going to leave at this, and next post will be about the 2 remaining days with San Pedro and Bufo 🙂 And I’m going to share a pretty badass video of myself!

Hugs, Puma

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New places, Botox, dance…

A guy at the gym told me about a place called Laguna. I decided to Uber there and check it out. It’s now one of my favorite spots to drink coffee and work at. There are stores, offices, food, and the design of the place is very cool. I was also chasing after this black cat who I think lives there, but he could care less about me. – “Don’t you know who I think I am”

There are always new places opening here. Took a new route home walking one night and discovered this new cafe/restaurant. When the sun sets, they project silent movies on a wall there. Decided to try it out and definitely going back. It’s called the Treehouse.

One of the girls at the new gym is a dancer. I love dancing, but don’t really have any moves. I asked her if she would be willing to teach a class or two. Wow, sooo much fun even though I felt like a tree trunk trying to copy her moves hahahaaaa…

Can’t just waltz around trying new places so here’s proof that I work too 🙂

Dropped by for some Botox too…

I also applied for the Fjällräven Polar 2024. You have to do three challenges and in December they will choose 20 winners who get to go on an Arctic Expedition with Fjällräven next year. It sounds so amazing. It’s not too late to apply and do the challenges if you are interested. Here’s the link – https://foxtrail.fjallraven.com/articles/challenges-fjallraven-polar-2024?sc_src=email_5047628&sc_lid=513245132&sc_uid=SdfqStOQHN&sc_llid=834&sc_eh=217bca01252d904f1&utm_source=FJR_en&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=en_Brand_FJR-POLAR-APPLICATION-JOURNEY-WEEK-1-E2-FINAL_20231030_&utm_content=AUTOMATIONS

Tomorrow the last challenge is revealed. Cross your fingers for me 🙂

Next week on Wednesday I’m heading to San Miguel de Allende for the retreat. I’m very excited about it as it’s going to be different from previous experiences. We will be doing ceremonies of Ayahuasca, mushrooms, San Pedro and Bufo. I will be returning next week late on Sunday so probably won’t hear from me then, but I will update on Instagram (@thepumaswede) and here as soon as I can 🙂

And here’s a photo dump of Hunter and I!

Hugs, Puma