Tag: tripping

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Corason Retreat Part 2

Here comes the second part. In case it wasn’t obvious by the headline lol.

On our 3rd day it was time for San Pedro. Here is Lupita who made us a tasty juice for breakfast 🙂

We had another exercise and we talked about human needs. We arranged them by how they are at the present moment, and how we would like to reorder them. There was a lot more that went into this, but hard to explain it unless I write an essay and I suck at that 😉

I’d never tried San Pedro before which is a cactus. It was like a dark green, lumpy, warm smoothie. It did not taste good! We all had a lot of trouble getting it down; spooning it up from our cups while gagging.

I laid down to wait and see what San Pedro was going to bring along. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was alone in the room. I got up and joined everyone on the rooftop and listened to some good disco tunes.

None of us were really feeling anything from the medicine. We decided that we would have some more. It was really hard to get it down again, and I only managed to eat half of it.

We then started sharing about our families and upbringing. My personal story was about how my dad was very strict. I had the utmost respect for him, border lining on fear if I knew I’d done something wrong. There were a lot of emotions and tears. Bawling. Michael brought out wooden boards. He taught us a technique to punch through it. Not sure this was anything I could do. Seemed like some cool Kung Fu. I was told to share the old image/perception I had of my dad, and then what would be the new one. In short, I believe he really loved me and did his best. Even though he was a bit hardcore at the time hahhaaaa… I was told to punch through the wood. 

Damn, that was powerful and I felt a bit like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill when she punches herself out of the coffin! I did cut out my bawling before this though…

We then ate on the rooftop together and talked. The weirdest thing is that I then started feeling the San Pedro. Things were morphing a bit and I was tripping. It was great hanging out, and after a while we all felt that it was time for bed. I slept badly though, and was twisting and turning all night.

Sunday, our last day, and I was (and looked) pretty worn out hahahaa…

It was time to prep for Bufo. Bufo is a psychedelic derived from the secretions of the Bufo Alvaius toad. Photo by Joel Sartore, National Geographic. 

We gathered in our retreat room and were told that Bufo is what would bring clarity to all of the previous medicines. I was very excited about it as I felt I need some answers. 

A little side note here. We were told on the first day not to smoke anything whether it be cigarettes, vapes or cannabis. I refrained from smoking for two days, but then snuck out and had a couple of cigarettes. Also a couple on the rooftop the night before. Not very bueno of me, but I felt like I ‘deserved’ it… Here’s me thinking I got away with it 😉

Sooo, Miryana and Michael started preparing and serving the medicine.

They came to me last and sat down next to me. I was then told that I would not receive the medicine since I’ve been smoking. I felt disappointed and angry. I realized that I could only blame myself. So hard when you can’t point fingers at anyone else hahahaaa… All I could do was take this as a learning lesson, to honor my promises in the future! I asked everyone else how their experience was and it sounded pretty amazing. I’m sure there will come another time for me to try Bufo…

Afterwards we gathered on the rooftop and talked about these 4 days. It’s hard to take it all in and make sense of it so shortly after. It was an amazing group of people and new friends were made. 

Alex came up with our motto which I documented with and extra # in the end hahahaaa…

This is a very intense experience in a short period of time. I believe most (if not all) medicines numb you and take away what might be an uneasy feeling, like depression or anxiety for example. These medicines do the opposite, they make you feel! It might be hard, or not, but I’ve seen and felt them work on me and others.

I took the bus back home on Sunday afternoon.

Monday was pretty normal and on Tuesday I got a cold and was a bit lethargic. I felt a lot of different emotions, ups and downs, and I stayed home most of the day. I don’t know if it’s been because I was sick, but for the first time I’ve been able to just be at home and relax. I barely did anything last week. I stayed home, I started reading a book about mindfulness, and I have tried to meditate for small amounts of time every day. I watched a movie in the middle of the day, I slept a lot, and didn’t feel any pressure to work on something all the time. Normally I need to be working or I feel that I’m wasting my time. I feel better now and I will try to hold onto this new more chilled version of me 🙂 And of course Hunter is supporting me. He likes chill 🙂

If you have any questions about the retreat, hit me up 🙂

XXX Puma

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Corason Retreat Part 1

It’s been a lot to process as it was four very intense days with different medicines. I’ve decided to make two different posts as it became very looooooong and I’m still polishing the last part. Hopefully post it tomorrow 🙂

I took the bus from Mexico City to San Miguel de Allende. Very smooth ride about 4h away.

I wanted to have a relaxing day before the ceremonies and not arrive the day of. I stayed at Maison Mexique, a cute little hotel in the middle of everything. I threw my bag down and spent the day walking around the city.

In the evening I sat on the rooftop writing down some thoughts and intentions for the days to come.

Next morning I walked around a bit in the sun and had some fruit for breakfast.

We were notified that they would also be offering Kambo before the Ayahuasca ceremony the first day. I decided I wanted it, and drank 2 liters of water before leaving for the retreat. It was a short 10 minute Uber ride away. I’m always early, so I checked into my room at the house we were staying at, and then walked around checking out the hood 🙂

“Kambo is the name of a natural substance derived from the glandular secretions of the amphibian Phyllomedusa bicolor, a species native to regions in South America. The communities living in these areas administer the substance generally transdermally during rituals for religious-purifying purposes, producing small skin burns.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9061256/

The retreat was held by Miryana & Michael. More about them later 🙂 There were four of us who showed up to receive Kambo. The room had mattresses and buckets. I knew Kambo makes you purge and I remember thinking that I’ve never purged in a group setting. First time for everything…

We were told how it would be administered, the duration and what to expect. Miryana burned 3 holes on my ankle with the end of a burning stick. Didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but it still stinged. She rubbed the burnt skin off and applied the Kambo.

We were told to keep drinking water. I think it took around 15-20 minutes until I started to get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I let out a small purge. Michael kept encouraging us to drink more water. Kept drinking and then I purged out what felt like the rest of what I had in my stomach.

I thought beforehand that I would feel a lot worse, but it wasn’t too hard to handle and I felt good after purging. You are pretty focused on what you are going through, so I barely noticed the others purging. The Kambo is then wiped off the skin and it took about 1 hour in total. I felt pretty much back to normal afterwards.

In the afternoon two more people arrived. We all met up and talked about the upcoming Ayahuasca ceremony that was happening later at night. When it was time we first had an ‘exercise’ led by Michael. It was about setting your intentions. What is your perception about yourself right now and what would you like it to be. Before going at it, we danced together and then settled down and wrote whatever came to mind. Then more dancing and again settling down to write about the ‘new’ and improved you.

I like to draw and this is the new me going who knows where hahahaaa….

Then we all shared a word that summarized it all. My word was peace. I would like to live and be aware of the present more. Not to feel that I need to be effective all of the time. There was also a table set-up and you could leave an offering there…

At 8.15pm we were served Ayahuasca. (Ayahuasca is commonly made by the stems of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub). Photo by: Jana Klintoukh

I think about an hour after drinking the first cup, we all opted for a second serving. As usual when I’m doing larger doses of psychedelics, I remember thinking, ‘I don’t feel anything’, and then all of a sudden it hit me full-force. Wow, what a journey it took me on. There were times when I had to ask the medicine to take it a bit slow as it was so intense. At one point I think I experienced some kind of death. It all became white and my face was covered in tears when I came to again. I had a lot of visuals. I had visions of wolves howling and eating a carcass. I might of howled at one point too hahhaaaa… The feelings were mixed between fear, mostly because it was so intense, a lot of love for people I know, and in the between I just tried to surrender to everything and take it all in. Not very easy though lol…

Around 4am they told us we could go to our rooms or we could stay where we were. I did not hear this as I think I had fallen asleep. It was 6.30am when I was able to get up and go to bed exhausted. I’m still trying to make sense of my journey. I have a follow up call next week on Tuesday so maybe I can get more clarity then…

On the 2nd day we got together around 10 am to share about our different journeys. I’m always amazed how the experiences differ from one person to another. Some had people from their past ‘visit’ them and no visions of patterns. Very interesting to hear about the various trips.

We then talked about the mushroom ceremony, and it was going to be in silence with no music or drums. Around noon we were served the mushroom tea. Miryana said before that it was important to not compare this journey with other shroom journeys we might of had before. Well, my trip was nothing like any other I’ve had and there’s been a few. I felt the effect, but had no visuals like I always have. I walked up to the rooftop and put my headphones on and started dancing. Felt so good moving in the sun. After about 4 hours the effect of the mushrooms were wearing off, and we gathered downstairs again to share. I asked about my trip because I thought maybe I had become immune to shrooms. One suggestions was that I had asked for peace during Ayahuasca and maybe that was what I was experiencing. Hmm, makes sense to me…

We then had 1.5h to ourselves and I decided to emerge from our ‘container’ and go for a walk and clear my head a bit.

In the evening we gathered again for a breathing exercise. Mryana & Michael told us beforehand that it could get intense and to just let go and do whatever you felt you needed to do. Move, make sounds or whatever. I remember thinking – How powerful can a breathing exercise be? It was all very simple. Sit with your eyes closed and take deep breaths, inhale & exhale, with your mouth only. It varied with drums and then music. It started with everyone concentrating on their inhales and exhales. I don’t know at what point it happened, but soon we were making sounds. Pretty quietly at first. Then it got louder and louder. I remember pretty much letting it all out, crying loudly at one point. I had visuals appear. A giant flower with a tunnel leading into it. I remember thinking that this is like no other breathing exercise I ever done and it felt so good. Maybe I had some leftover shrooms and Aya that helped with the visions, I don’t know. It calmed down and we were told to take deep breaths and hold. Hold when we exhaled. The last holding of your breath was 2.5 min long. I didn’t quite manage that, but held my breath far longer than I thought I could… I really liked it. We then all gathered at the rooftop and hung out. It was a very cool group of people I was with, and it is always very interesting to hear everyone’s stories and why they’ve chosen these medicines.

OK, I’m going to leave at this, and next post will be about the 2 remaining days with San Pedro and Bufo 🙂 And I’m going to share a pretty badass video of myself!

Hugs, Puma

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Ceremony in Colombia

I’m still processing the experience as it was a powerful one. From the beginning though…

Our original guide/facilitator had to cancel, but recommended for us to go to Andres at La Ofrenda Para Ti. It was me and three friends arriving at 8pm. It was my first time doing a ceremony at night time. The space was pitch black and there were a few ‘huts’ with some light in the woods. We just stood there dumbfounded not knowing where we were supposed to go until our guide, Andres, appeared from one of the huts cheerfully. He showed us around and told us that all the huts were made of clay and wood. We then walked a short path to a big dome.

There were matts and blankets laid out individually for each of us.

Andres started working the firepit in the middle while we all shared a bit about ourselves and our intentions for the journey.

My intention was that I wished for some guidance. I feel there are new things coming for me and I have some ideas on my own, but feel a bit hesitant, and have 105 different ideas hahhaaa… I have long since learned that with mushrooms, you don’t get what you want, but what you need.

We finally had a big fire going and we were first served Ambil (tobacco paste) that you licked off a stick, and then after a small spoon of ground up Mambe (coca leaf powder). This is used for the equilibrium between masculine and feminine energy, thinking and feeling, to open up your heart, not from the ego, and to clarify purpose. Not super tasty, but it eventually dissolved and you swallowed it. Then we got rapé. And then we got two different types of dried mushrooms that we ate. Three grams of Blue Moon (lab) and one gram Mexican (earth). I was told that the one from lab helps with focus and Blue Moon is more visual and keeps a connection to earth.

I always note the time down when I ingest any type of psychedelic. It was 10:05 pm.

I laid down and after, what probably was 15 minutes, remembered thinking: ‘these shrooms are probably not that powerful since I’m not feeling anything’. Shortly after it hit me full force and it took me on a powerful ride. I remember sometimes it being so intense so I opened my eyes and looked at the fire which kind of centered me and reminded me that I’m safe and can let go.

At points it is like I cease existing and I’m a being in a different realm. I’m not seeing it, I am in the midst of it all. For me it is like cartoon images. It’s not realistic surroundings and people, but they are drawn and cartoonish. I see things and then I’m swooshed away like I’m flying to new imagery. I also remember looking up at the dome and it was all purplish with tentacles dancing around me.

After about 2h I sat up and everyone was laughing and having a great time. I felt exhausted after my initial ‘ride’. I put on my headphones and danced a bit. The music always sounds so good and evokes all kinds of feelings in me. I felt a lot of love and most of the times my family, friends and people I know come to my mind. I lied back down, cried, and watched the fire. The crying is not out of sadness, more a feeling of love and it feels like I’m clearing my head/body of tension.

We had our driver come at around 2am to pick us up. We all felt that we were not ready to leave yet. I think at some point we all slept. I spotted this mask and felt like it was a sister Puma meant for me 🙂

It was refreshing to step outside in the fresh air and sit in the darkness. I liked hearing the laughter from inside the dome…

I went in and out of sleep and at 8am we felt ready to emerge from the dome. Andres served us some fruits and drinks and we sat talking about our journey. I felt a lot of gratitude and a beautiful connection to everyone in the ceremony. It is always funny how different everyone’s trip is. Some did not have a lot of visuals while I felt that I was emerged in them. All together a beautiful ceremony and night and I hope to visit Andres and La Ofrenda Para Ti again.

Not much got done the day after. We all smelled like a fire pit after a night in the dome, so a much needed shower felt amazing. Later we went to Crepes & Waffles and this dessert hit the spot.

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I was going to share George’s dog adoption story here too, but since Hunter’s adoption is going to be 1 year next week, I’ll share them together 🙂 Instead you get this little video of our night that I scramble together 🙂

While on the subject of mushrooms, my next retreat is coming up now in November. I’m sharing 2 videos about it. It’s in San Miguel de Allende here in Mexico. About 4h drive from Mexico City 🙂 I’m very excited about this one as it’s going to involve other psychedelics and not just mushrooms.

There are 2 spots left and if you are interested, contact @miryana.gongora.hernandez or @michaelhokkinensoder on Instagram. They are both super nice and can answer all your questions 🙂

Until the next trip you all 🙂 Happy Halloween and Día de Muertos!

XXX Puma

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Can’t report any…

particular amazingness from this past week. Just feels like I did the same sh*t as always, the week passed, and now we’re in September 🙂 Which reminds me that my birthday is coming up September 13th wohoooo! I’ve already made plans to be in the woods and shroom hahahaa…

Gym business got taken care of. A necessity for me to feel good in my head even more so than in my body. Excess energy needs to be drained…

The usual stuff…

And siestas with Hunter because that’s just how we roll 🙂

Got a bit creative yesterday and asked to borrow my friends pool to test some stuff out. Will see how it turns out. A couple of behind the scenes pics…

Tried a new microdose and really liked it…

Also an article was published about me and Psychonaut Explorer on Canvas Rebel. Here’s the link if you want to read more – https://canvasrebel.com/meet-puma-swede/

I think that pretty much covers the week. Got a Paleo baking recipe book so I plan to bake some later today. Also planning a trip to Colombia in October, but otherwise just hanging out locally. How cool are my coffee mugs?

You be you because I’m already taken 😉

XXX Puma

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Shrooming in Oaxaca

I had a very introspective and insightful trip on magic mushrooms when I was in San Jose del Pacifico. I wanted to find someone to take me picking mushrooms in the woods, but didn’t manage to find anyone. I was recommended a guy who provided the mushrooms and did a little ceremony. We met up in the morning at 10am. Only had a bit of coffee and some fruit before. I was with someone I know and trust, and who also enjoys psychedelics, and the three of us walked to a nearby hotel which was surrounded by beautiful nature and beautiful views. A very relaxing setting which is very important when tripping…

While walking the guide shared a bit how he got into magic mushrooms. His mom had a heart problem. They tried different medicines, but nothing helped. She starting eating magic mushrooms, and 3 years later she didn’t have any more heart issues! She gave gave him mushrooms when he was 12 years old the first time…

We settled at a spot in the forest and laid out blankets and a little ceremonial ‘altar’.

These were our mushrooms, and they had been made into a tea. Before drinking the tea we silently said our intentions for the journey. My intentions were to explore what my fears are. I decided that I would push towards the darkness if it occurs during the trip and find out what’s there…

Our guide had prepped these shrooms and he took a small dose to be in tune with us.

I usually feel the effect of psychedelics fast and I think it’s because I know to just let go and surrender to whatever is coming. Like they say, ‘mushrooms don’t give you what you want, they give you what you need’. This time was no different, and pretty quickly (I think like 20min) I saw the forest glow and flicker. I lied down and closed my eyes. I had very beautiful visuals, and a lot of thoughts and questions passed through my mind. In the beginning I was aware of the forest and where I was, but there was a time where I was just part of and flowing with the visuals.

I had some ‘darkness’ and tried to explore if there was something there that I was afraid of. As soon as I pushed toward it and allowed myself to just be in it, I came out and it was pleasurable and enjoyable.

After about 2h I sat up, had some water, and grabbed my headphones for music. I saw that my friend had left his spot and I will share what happened to him in the end. I lied back down and looked at the trees as the sun was peeking through and hitting my face. I cried and had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Whatever built-up in my body was released. I got up and went to look at the view and cried a bit more. It wasn’t really out of sadness, but a lot of people I care about passed through my mind…

After about 4 hours the guide and I walked up to this look-out spot. He went to look for my friend. I sat here alone and just took it all in. Also found this note someone had attached and it resonated with me right there…

At this spot and moment it was me at my purest form. Everything peeled off, just empty and breathing. I realized that when I leave this spot different layers of ‘reality’ will be added on top of me. Being among people, work, social media, friends, your daily must do’s and routines… I promised myself that I would try to return to this spot in my mind if I ever need some peace and quiet internally…

The guide came back and said he wasn’t able to find my friend. I wasn’t really worried since I know he is experienced with psychedelics. But still, wanted to make sure he hadn’t fallen or hurt himself in some other way. We asked the reception at the hotel, and they hadn’t seen him. We walked back to where I was staying and asked the reception there, but no sign of him. I got my wifi back and my phone rang. Long story short, my friend walked off and felt he needed to go pee and escape the mosquitos for a bit. He walked by a cabana and just went inside. No one was there so he peed and fell asleep on the bed. He woke up and realised what happened and emerged back to reality LOL…

I like the calm I feel after a strong trip. I sat outdoors and listened to music and danced, thinking about what I saw and felt during the trip.

Still haven’t figured out why I sometimes feel fear. It’s more a feeling and not really related to anything real. Just like stress, it’s usually my mind creating scenarios and there’s not really any real reason to feel stressed.

This was an amazing trip and by night I had the fireplace lit and watched old music videos from the 80’s and 90’s 🙂

I’ve had a fun week and last night ended at W Hotel with a drag show 🙂 Will try to write during the week, but no promises 😉

Kisses, Puma

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Oaxaca & San Jose del Pacifico

Wow, what a trip. Oaxaca City is truly as amazing as everyone says. I visited Puerto Escondido earlier this year which is part of the Oaxaca state that I also loved. The best part is that it is only about an hour flight from Mexico City.

Arrived and checked in at Pug Seal Hotel that a friend had recommended. Very cool design, artsy and it’s in the middle of everything…

No time to waste and being hungry, I picked a restaurant from a list that another friend of mine had compiled with recommendations for Oaxaca. Went to Casa Oaxaca and yum yum yum, everything was delicious. Especially the lobster 🙂 I also like that they prepare the guacamole and salsa in front of you and ask how picante you want your salsa to be.

Also necessary to get the caffeine fix. Kiyo Cafe was my spot and they also had a little store with locally made stuff…

The town is beautiful and colorful. Little specialty shops, cafes, and lots of bars and restaurants.

I love mezcal and tried some drinks at Sabina Sabe. Muy bueno!

Called it a night after that…

Next day I had breakfast at the hotel. Oh, and since I’m a bit restless at times and can’t just sit and do nothing, I thought – why not swing a little before breakfast arrives…

Next door to the hotel they had this supercool shop called Peyote People. They have art inspired by peyote and made by locals. I have tried a bit of peyote and I will hopefully get to participate in a full ceremony with it soon…

Then picked up a rental car and the destination was the mushroom town San Jose del Pacifico. The town is known for magic mushrooms and I think Vice made a show about this town once…

Checked in at Casa Elba. Supercute place with different style cabanas surrounded by nature.

It was walking distance to town which is very small and charming.

Decided on an early dinner at an Asian restaurant called Tatsu. It was a bit further up from town and the view and sunset from there was beautiful! Spicy and good food too.

Breakfast at the hotel with the company of these 2 pugs that lived there 🙂

Needed more coffee and walked to town. It’s pretty cool because pretty much all of the time you are above the clouds.

The best coffee shop is Oaxacid. People are very friendly here and like to talk about the town, magic mushrooms and anything else you want. Met an interesting guy while drinking coffee. He said he’s been a ‘wanted’ person and came to San Jose del Pacifico and hid here. During Covid he made some controversial video and people with machetes were looking for him in town. Luckily it started raining and that was apparently a sign from the gods that he should not be harmed. Luckily everything had cooled down now and he could roam free. Very interesting conversation…

Decided to check out the next town over called San Mateo Rio Hondo. The road kept getting smaller and narrower until it pretty much was a dirt track. Arrived in town and it was pretty much one lane streets so decided to park, walk, and see what I could find…

I was looking for a bakery, but Google maps was not very accurate here. Saw some smoke coming from a house and though there might be a bakery located there. I was right, but apparently not the bakery I was looking for. But I got to meet this great lady and her husband that baked and sold bread to stores in nearby towns/villages. They had a clay oven with a fire where they baked it all.

Headed back after about an hour and half. Found a restaurant on the way back and since I didn’t find the bakery I decided I might as well fill up with proper food instead of sugar 🙂 This guy had just picked these chanterelles and I love them. Ordered all my food with chanterelles and my favorite was this cheese with the mushrooms on top – wow!

This restaurant was by a hotel called ‘Hotel Boutique y Cabanas Alto La Sierra’. It looked nice and they were just adding more cabanas and of course they were decorated with mushroom art 🙂

When I walked into the town I spotted this sign about magic mushrooms. I decided to hike up the short little path to a small house. There was a lady hanging up laundry and I asked if she was the one selling shrooms. Yes it was and she showed me what she had…

I did a magic mushroom ceremony the next day. I will make a different post about it because it was an amazing and a very insightful trip!

At night I ate at an italian place called La Taberna Los Duendes. Like everywhere, there were designs inspired by mushrooms. The entrance, cheese plate, napkin holder etc. Food was really good and you got huge portions. I ate here after my mushroom trip as well. How cute is my mushroom hat that I bought?

The day after my shroom trip I had a relaxed morning and shopped for some mini knitted mushrooms from this lady to put on a Psychonaut Explorer jacket I’m planning to make 🙂

Then headed back to the city. It’s about an 2.5 hour drive depending on the traffic. Stopped at one of the road side markets as well. They all sell mushroom artifacts. Or actual mushrooms 🙂

One tip, if you decide to head out to San Jose del Pacifico, bring cash! Not all places accept card payments and there are no ATM’s.

Checked in at my airbnb which had a private little pool. Of course I made the most of it while there 🙂

Next up was a food tour to taste some local flavours and mezcal. Very tasty and almost drunk when finishing up hahahaaa….

Next day I met up with a group to go visit Hierve el Agua. It’s about an 1,5h drive away and it is a set of natural travertine rock formation. I thought it was hot springs, but learned it’s not. These are mineral springs and I thing the guide said the only other one exists in Turkey. Very cool!

I had spotted this awesome pottery store the day before and went there after the tour was done. I could’ve bought half the store because the stuff was amazing. It was pretty expensive and I settled for 2 mugs. This one with mushrooms and another one with a mouth and pill on the tongue. I wish it would’ve been an acid tab instead 😉

Also found this guy and he had a screenprint that reminded me of my mushroom trip so I bought it…

Changed up and went to have a semi private tasting experience at Crudo. Wow! It was sushi, but with added Oaxacan flavors. If you have to pick one place in town to eat, eat here! We were only 6 people, but they also have a restaurant where you can eat.

That pretty much concluded my Oaxaca & San Jose del Pacifico trip. I’m pretty sure I will go back as I had the best time. I can really recommend visiting here! I will write about my mushroom journey too 🙂 Here are some left over pics…

Hope you are doing great. Anyone still on vacation? Me? I’m off to ship a pair of heels someone won in an auction and then working out. Also did an interview for the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet this morning 🙂 Oh, and I’m trying to manage my 3rd day without sugar, bread, pasta and chips. Very hard but I’m determined to make it at least a week!

Hugs, Puma

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A Trip Report

I thought I’d share my notes and thoughts from yesterday’s trip. I took a medium dosage of mushrooms with three friends. I also had some Rapé before because I like the clarity and calmness from it…

2pm Took 75% of a ‘purple owl’ chocolate mushroom that was 1.5 grams of mushrooms but it was mixed with a MAO inhibitor. Here we go…

2.23pm I read some Osho – ‘Last in the Evening’, before eating the chocolate and I went outside smoking and decided this trip was going to be to celebrate me. Kind of like Osho says, celebrate everything. My body and mind is just a shell…

4.30pm Pretty high. Beautiful to let go. Eating some chips now.

5.16pm A lot of thoughts, here they come…

  • Would everything be better without humans?
  • Do I need to change?
  • Is it enough to be aware?
  • What good can I do? 
  • Where do you draw the line between accepting yourself as you are? What if you have depression, anxiety or something else… 

5.30pm I feel exhausted…

Lied back down and let my mind drift. The question “what is the most beautiful thing in the world?” came to mind… Kept thinking about it and two things came to me –  nature and freedom… I asked my friends and one of them said kindness. Another one said curiosity and wonder. The third one was processing his own trip so don’t have his input…

Around 7.30pm we all felt that the trip had ended and talked about it. Went eating and back home. Read some more OSHO before falling asleep.

A lot of people talk about integration after having a trip. What you do or how to process what you experienced during your altered state. Sometimes I don’t have so many thoughts after a trip; it can be just a recreational experience that I enjoy. But last night and today I’ve been thinking a lot about the images and thoughts that came to me during the trip. I think it has to do with reading the OSHO book.

I was thinking about what is the most important thing that I took with me from my trip. I think it’s the word compassion. In a way it was one of the most beautiful trips I’ve had. Very beautiful images, thoughts, and feelings. Sometimes I feel it’s not fair that I’m feeling so good considering how many people are suffering. During my trip, I was thinking of people in war for example. I don’t know how it would work, but I tried to say in my mind that I could take on their pain/suffering/fear for a while since I was feeling so good. Let them feel what I’m feeling, I would take on what they are feeling, and give them a break for a bit. Or that somehow we could connect and I could share what I’m feeling and my head-space.

Usually on my trips I always come to the conclusion that I have to spend more time in nature. On my walk this morning I thought about prioritizing to plan a trip to hike in Patagonia next year. But then thinking about what Osho says in the book, you don’t have to climb Everest or fly to the moon to find happiness, you need to work on your inner self right where you are. So should I just be content where I am, or should I plan a trip? 

I always love these experiences as they give a lot of insight and I feel I become more aware. I will keep pondering on my questions and see what else arises. 

Please share if you have any memories or stories from experiencing psychedelics 🙂 

XXX Puma

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Trips, Psychonaut & Work

Ooops, 2 weeks flew by. I didn’t get started writing here last Sunday, and then the days just passed… But it has been good!

Went to my friend Felipe’s factory to see some Psychonaut samples and re-work some others. It’s hard to choose fabrics, colors, style etc. I’m fortunate Felipe and his people are knowledgeable and everything is of high quality. I hope that next week I will have Instagram for Psychonaut Explorer up and running and maybe even the website. #fingerscrossed

Then some shooting…

After work comes the workout! Finally feeling that I’m getting back my strength and conditioning a bit. Even though my face says differently…

Since I felt I worked hard I felt I also deserved a little getaway. This time I went to Amatlán. It’s next to Tepoztlán that I’ve visited before. Turned out that Amatlán and the Airbnb were more in the middle of the woods and not really a town with restaurants etc. But very peaceful and it was great to encounter cows outside your door 🙂

Luckily there was a neighbor who had a truck that could take me into Tepoztlán for some food and looki-looing. My favorite part was riding in the back of his truck like the locals do 🙂

Also ended up eating at the same restaurant – La Veladora, every night. It was so good that I had these shrimp tacos for starters every day!

Then I did some ‘mind altering’ and spent the day by the pool and in the hammock. Hard to explain, but I love that it feels like I’m using more/other parts of my brain while tripping. This trip didn’t include things morphing as much as it supplied delightful imagery and a lot of thinking… I love being a Psychonaut!

Managed to get myself into town after the effects mellowed out and ate more shrimp tacos 🙂 Then found this cool chocolate shop and bought a bag of chocolates. Got a ride back and sat in the hottub in the middle of the night with some candles and music.

No trip is complete without some bikini pics!

I wish I could’ve stayed longer. Really liked it out there. Except maybe for all the big bugs and ants that I’m freaked out by. Just look at the 2 hollowed out and dried up bugs I found on a tree!!! Oh, and managed to trap a huge spider in a glass and take it out safely. Wish I would’ve taken a pic, but the stress levels when handling that giant spider was enough!

It’s Pride weekend here and at the gym they had a some performances one night…

Now going to hit a cafe for some more coffee and work. I’m very excited for Wednesday this week. Going to shoot with a girl I’ve ‘known’ only on Instagram for some time. We’ll see how it goes because our communication has been done with Google translate hahahaaa… Maybe we get busy doing other stuff than talking 😉

Hugs, Puma